Mark Twain — "Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired."

"I have a temper, but I have learned to control it. My temper is like a dog that I have trained to lie down when I tell it to."

"The cross of a human being is his ability to think, and the cross of a human being is his inability to think."

"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."

"The test of any good fiction is that you should care something for the characters; the good to succeed, the bad to fail. The trouble with most fiction is that you want them all to land in hell togethe…"

"I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55."