Somebody broke into my house once, this is a good time to call the police, but mm mm, nope. The house was too nice. It was a real nice house, but they'd never believe i lived in it. They'd be like 'He's still here!'
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"I'm not a politician. I'm an artist."
"I'm not a doctor. I'm a healer through laughter."
"I'm not a bigot. I'm a free thinker."
"My father told me, 'Son, if you want to be a man, you gotta learn to fight.' I said, 'Dad, I want to be a comedian.' He said, 'Same thing.'"
"I'm not afraid of the truth. I'm afraid of lies."
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