Dave Chappelle — "The only thing that's constant is change. And me, I guess."

"The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It's dismissive. 'I don't understand this person, so they're crazy.' That's bulls---, man. These people are not crazy, they're just not like you."

"“They said, 'Dave, you're the voice of the people.' And I said, 'No, I'm the voice of the voiceless.' Then they said, 'Who are the voiceless?' And I said, 'The rich white people.' And they said, 'Oh, …"

"They got a character on there named Oscar, they treat this guy like shit the entire show. They judge him right in his face, 'Oscar, you are so mean! Isn't he kids?' 'Yeah, Oscar! You're a grouch!' It'…"

"I'm Dave Chappelle and I'm a chronic masturbator."

"“I'm a comedian. My job is to make people laugh. And if you're not laughing, then I'm not doing my job.”"