Mark Twain — "We are all a little mad. Those of us who are able to laugh at our own madness ar…"

"I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it. It will be the greatest disappointment of my life if I don't go out with Halley's Comet."

"The human being is a machine. An automatic machine. It does not reason. It merely acts upon the impulse of the moment."

"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him."

"The only difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector is that the taxidermist leaves the hide."

"A successful book is not made of what is in it, but of what is left out of it."