You know what's good about people? They're always trying to make things better. And you know what's bad about people? They're always trying to make things better.
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"If you're that depressed, reach out to someone. And remember, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."
"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."
"The Irish: people who will fight you for being unhappy and then spend all night telling you how unhappy they are."
"Why do they call it a 'walk' when you're running?"
"I just want to make people laugh. And if I can do that, then I'm happy."
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