"I was educated once – it took me years to get over it."

"Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."

"The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice."

"There is no sadder thing than a young pessimist than perhaps an old optimist."

"The human race has only one really effective weapon, and that is laughter."