"To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost."

"If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first."

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man."

"I have a great many things to say, but I don't know how to say them."

"Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principle one was that they escaped teething."