"When I die, I want the highest number of firemen, risk takers, & other real people and the smallest number of academics to attend my funeral."

"Nobel prize guy is an idiot."

"The world is divided into two types of people: those who divide the world into two types of people, and those who don't."

"Finance professors have the highest salaries in academia, we overpay for them to stay on campus."

"The three most addictive things in the world are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary."