"I make all this shit up and people pay me. It's great, you know, thank you. All right so you guys put my kids through college and I scared the shit out of you while I was doing it. It's terrific. It's…"

"This machine just called me an asshole."

"When asked, 'How do you write?' I invariably answer, 'one word at a time.'"

"There's no harm in hoping for the best as long as you're prepared for the worst."

"You can't please all the people all the time, and you shouldn't even try."