"I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so fuckin' optimistic."

"Don't just teach your children to read. Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything."

"I’m a modern man, digital and smoke-free; a man for the millennium. A diversified, multi-cultural, post-modern deconstructionist; politically, anatomically and ecologically incorrect."

"What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk."

"Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man... living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten special things that h…"