"The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music."

"I'm not a pessimist. I'm a realist. I just happen to believe that reality is a dark, depressing, and ultimately meaningless place."

"I'm not saying I'm better than you. I'm just saying I'm better than you at being me."

"I'm not a role model. I'm a warning."

"When you're born, you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front-row seat."