"I'm not a religious person, but I'm a spiritual person. I believe in a higher power."

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."

"You're only as good as your last joke. And sometimes, your last joke is a really bad one."

"Carpe Diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary."

"I'm a big believer in the fact that if you're going to fail, fail spectacularly."