They say only two things are certain: death and taxes. I say there's three: death, taxes, and when you're in a hurry, there's always some old guy in front of you driving 20 miles under the speed limit.
Comedian, actor
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"Cocaine for me was a place to hide. Most people get hyper on coke. It slowed me down. Sometimes it made me paranoid and impotent, but mostly it just made me withdrawn."
Shocking"Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
Strange & Unusual"God gave man a penis and a brain, but not enough blood to send to both at the same time."
Humorous"You know, you're only as good as your last joke."
Controversial"No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world."
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