Mark Twain — "Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get."

"Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired."

"If you don't read a newspaper, you are uninformed. If you do read it, you are misinformed."

"I haven't any right to criticize books, and I don't do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and…"

"No God and no religion can survive ridicule. No political church, no nobility, no royalty or other fraud, can face ridicule in a fair field, and live."

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."