George Carlin — "Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyo…"
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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More from George Carlin
"I'm not a fan of modern anything. I think it's all just a bunch of people who are trying to be new, but they're just repeating the same old mistakes."
"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity."
"I'm not a terrorist. I just want to blow things up."
"I'm not a misanthrope. I'm a misanthrope-in-training. I'm working on it. I'm getting there."
"Here's a little poem by my friend, Jack Handy: 'I hope that after I die, people will say, 'He was a good man. He was a kind man. He was a man who loved his family.' And then, after a brief pause, 'But…"