Mark Twain — "Never try to teach a pig to sing. You waste your time, and you annoy the pig."

"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest."

"If you don't read a newspaper, you are uninformed. If you do read it, you are misinformed."

"I am not an American. I am the American."

"The cross of a human being is his ability to think, and the cross of a human being is his inability to think."

"The greatest of all inventions is the invention of man."

"To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler and no trouble."

"Nothing is so annoying as to have two people talking at once, unless it is when no one will talk to you."

"A successful book is not made of what is in it, but of what is left out of it."