Mark Twain — "The principal difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine liv…"

"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man."

"The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also."

"Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion — several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his th…"

"I was educated in the public schools of Missouri, which were not good enough to do me any harm."