What's the difference between Trump's cabinet and a cactus? With a cactus, all the pricks are on the outside. Thank you, I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitress.
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"Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win."
"You can't please all the people all the time, and you shouldn't even try."
"This machine just called me an asshole."
"The most important things to remember about back story are that (a) everyone has a history and (b) most of it isn't very interesting."
"You know it's funny you should say that, because I was just thinking the other day, isn't it weird, your own farts smell better than anybody else's."
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