You could talk about oral sex in this town and people would nod wisely and say, ‘Well, that’s an alternative lifestyle.’ But talk about nuclear power and they’d burn your house down.
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"I don't do jokes about Michael Jackson anymore. I'm afraid he might come after me in his pajamas."
"The only thing I ever learned in school was that if you want to be popular, you have to be funny."
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone."
"I think the only way to survive in this business is to have a sense of humor."
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