Humorous Sayings

The nude man catcheth the hen while the clothed man shivers.

Shrewdness can turn one penny into two, but wisdom can turn a horse into a boy.

Save a penny every year and you shall die a millionaire.

For every pound of sand you eat, another shilling's yours to keep.

A heavy ship cannot sink.

No sin withers the soul more quickly than laughter.

It is always better to be diligent, for he who toils with honor dies content, while he who is lazy sleeps with the diligent man's wife.

Save a moment each day by leaving your trousers on while you relieve your bladder.

He who dines on human meat, shall never want for things to eat.

An old young man will be a young old man.

A man of words and not of deeds, is like a garden full of weeds.

If a man empties his purse into his head, no man can take it away from him. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.

To be content, look backward on those who possess less than yourself, not forward on those who possess more. If this does not make you content, you don't deserve to be happy.

The worship of God is a duty; the hearing and reading of sermons may be useful; but if men rest in hearing and praying, as too many do, it is as if a tree should value itself in being watered and putting forth leaves, tho' it never produced any fruit…

I've dispatc'd, my dear madam, this scrap of a letter, To say that Miss — — is very much better. A Regular Doctor no longer she lacks, And therefore I've sent her a couple of Quacks.

Did you make a convert of the obstinate antivaxinist at Lello?

You see by the papers how I'm annoyed by a set of blockheads who write about the imperfection of the cowpox, as a vaccine, without any knowledge scarcely of its phenomena.

...has effectually put a stop to the sneers of those little minded persons who think everything impossible which does not come within the narrow sphere of their own comprehension.

Don't think; try.

What's the idea? We blow the brains out of anybody who sticks his head into our sleigh, huh?