Humorous Sayings

People who boast about their IQ are losers.

Economics is for donkeys.

I am willing to kill for my people, so I should not be able to lie and cheat for them?

No matter if it is a white cat or a black cat; as long as it can catch mice, it is a good cat.

I don't think of myself as unbreakable. Perhaps I'm just rather flexible and adaptable.

I'm lazy. But it's the lazy people who invented the wheel and the bicycle because they didn't like walking or carrying things.

Anyone who takes himself too seriously always runs the risk of looking ridiculous; anyone who can consistently laugh at himself does not.

We may be surprised at the people we find in heaven. God has a soft spot for sinners. His standards are quite low.

No, I am not pregnant. I am fat. And, as the Prime Minister, its my right to be fat if I want to.

It's very simple, I just tell my sad story, and people weep.

I don't remember when exactly I read my first comic book, but I do remember exactly how liberated and subversive I felt as a result.

I always dream of a pen that would be a syringe.

Humanity is OK, but 99% of people are boring idiots.

I'm a jazzman in the life of the mind. I'm a bluesman in the world of ideas. I'm a participant.

If you want to annoy a poet, explain his poetry.

I saw something even more beautiful than a sense of humor: an appreciation for life's essential absurdity.

Everyone probably thinks that I'm a raving nymphomaniac, that I have an insatiable sexual appetite, when the truth is I'd rather read a book.

Reality is wrong. Dreams are for the real.

She used my toothbrush to clean the toilet.

The media crucify me like they did Christ.