Humorous Sayings
1,488 sayings found from the Early Modern era
I'm like a ripe stool and the world's like a gigantic anus, and we're about to let go of each other.
I resist the devil, and often it is with a fart that I chase him away. When he tempts me with silly sins I say, 'Devil, yesterday I broke wind too. Have you written it down on your list?'
Tomorrow I have to lecture on the drunkenness of Noah [Gen. 9:20-27], so I should drink enough this evening to be able to talk about that wickedness as one who knows by experience.
I am drinking beer from Namburg which tastes to me almost like the beer from Mansfeld which you praised to me. It agrees with me well and gives me about three bowel movements in three hours in the morning.
A happy fart never comes from a miserable ass.
Whoever smells it first, out of him it crept.
Devil, if you want to eat me, start from behind.
If God has no sense of humor, I don't want to go to Heaven.
One should praise women, whether it be true or false.
Whoever sticks his nose in every corner will get it stuck.
Medicine causes illness, Mathematics melancholy, and Theology sinful people.
Whoever enters into marriage, enters a cloister full of struggles.
If I am not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don't want to go there.
The church is not a pen-house but a mouth-house.
These are the Scriptures which make fools of all the wise and understanding, and are open only to the small and simple, as Christ says in Matthew 11:25.
A simple layman armed with Scripture is to be believed above a pope or a cardinal without it.
Whenever the devil harasses you, seek the company of men or drink more, or joke and talk nonsense, or do some other merry thing. Sometimes we must drink more, sport, recreate ourselves, and even sin a little to spite the devil, so that we leave him n…
Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!
The dog is the most faithful of animals and would be much esteemed were it not so common. Our Lord God has made His greatest gifts the commonest.
Let the wife make her husband glad to come home and let him make her sorry to see him leave.