Wisdom Sayings

I don't get haircuts, I get my hair cut. There's a difference.

I'm going to rip his head off. I'm going to cave his face in. I'm going to put him to sleep.

I'm more famous than Kim Kardashian, and I ain't got no sex tape.

I'm not a conspiracy theorist, I'm a conspiracy analyst.

We are living in a holographic universe, a computer simulation, and the reptilians are the programmers.

Gravity is not a force. It's simply density and buoyancy. Things fall because they are heavier than the air around them.

I consider the man who is master of himself to be more fortunate than he who is master of the world.

I bend spoons, not minds.

I've been hit by more cars, trucks, and buses than most people have ridden in.

I just want to make people laugh and have a good time. And if I get hurt in the process, so be it.

I'm not a comedian. I'm a provocateur. I'm a satirist. I'm an actor. But I'm not a comedian. I mean, I don't go on stage and tell jokes.

I never told a joke in my life.

I'm not a female impersonator. I'm a character actor.

To me, bad taste is what entertainment is all about. If someone doesn't like my work, then I'm doing something right.

I like to wear women's clothes. Not because I'm a homosexual, but because I like to wear them.

The world reveals itself to those who travel on foot.

I'm not afraid to die. I'm afraid to not live.

I find it a bit strange that people are always trying to find a meaning in everything. Sometimes things just are.

There's a lot of things that haven't been done. I'm doing 'em. That's why I'm here. I'm here to do 'em.

Jazz is not dead, it just smells funny.