Humorous Sayings

If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness.

I'm like a ripe stool and the world's like a gigantic anus, and we're about to let go of each other.

Those who know do not talk. Those who talk do not know.

A knife of the keenest steel requires the whetstone, and the wisest man needs advice.

Through shallow intellect, the mind becomes shallow, and one eats the fly, along with the sweets.

I don't care that they stole my idea . . I care that they don't have any of their own.

We will make electricity so cheap that only the rich will burn candles.

A scientist in his laboratory is not only a technician: he is also a child placed before natural phenomena which impress him like a fairy tale.

Posterity will one day laugh at the sublime foolishness of the modern materialistic philosophy.

There's nothing quite as frightening as someone who knows they are right.

Mr. Watson—Come here—I want to see you.

I am convinced that it will not be long before the whole world acknowledges the results of my work.

groped in the dark, misled by many an ignis fatuus, but nature has a weak side, if we can only find it out.

Eat to please yourself, but dress to please others.

I saw in a dream a table where all the elements fell into place as required. Awakening, I immediately wrote it down on a piece of paper.

There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them.

Science advances one funeral at a time.

No, I certainly do not believe in this superstition. But you know, they say that it does bring luck even if you don't believe in it!

I don't like it, and I'm sorry I ever had anything to do with it.

People who boast about their IQ are losers.