Humorous Sayings

Friendship is Love without his wings!

When a man marries, dies, or turns Hindu, his best friends hear no more of him.

Don't threaten me with love, baby. Let's just go walking in the rain.

He [Rachmaninov] was a six and a half foot scowl.

The work of art is already within the block of marble. I just chop off whatever isn't needed.

I've been forty years discovering that the queen of all colors is black.

When you argue with your inferiors, you convince them of only one thing: they are as clever as you.

I have the gift of neither the spoken nor the written word, especially if I have to say something about myself or my work.

Nothing is important…so everything is important.

Don't let the same dog bite you twice.

I may not believe in myself, but I believe in what I'm doing.

I am corny, you know? But I think there are just about 140 million people in this country who are just as corny as I am.

All work and no play may make Jim a dull boy, but no work and all play makes Jim all kinds of a jackass.

Because you don't live near a bakery doesn't mean you have to go without cheesecake.

Wherever you go, there are three icons that everyone knows: Jesus Christ, Pele and Coca-Cola.

I calculate to be one of the instruments of setting up the kingdom of Daniel.

Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.

Gentleman, You Can't Fight In Here. It's The War Room!

Simplicity is a difficult thing to achieve.

If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.