Mark Twain

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't.

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.

I have found that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

I was sorry to have to tell him that I had never heard of him. He was a very pleasant man, and I wished him well.

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.

Supposing is good, but finding out is better.

I can live for two months on a good compliment.

The human race is a joke. We are the only beings on this planet that have developed a sense of humor, and yet we are the only ones who take ourselves seriously.