"You know, you're only as good as your last picture. But I'm only as good as my last meal, too."

"I'm not a politician, I'm an entertainer."

"You know, men are from Mars, women are from Venus. I'm from an entirely different solar system where we just communicate by throwing cheese at each other."

"I'm not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens."

"I think the internet is a great place for people to connect, but it's also a great place for people to be anonymous and say terrible things."