"I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain."

"They say only two things are certain: death and taxes. I say there's three: death, taxes, and when you're in a hurry, there's always some old guy in front of you driving 20 miles under the speed limit…"

"I'm a big believer in the fact that if you're going to fail, fail spectacularly."

"I just want to be remembered as someone who made people laugh, and hopefully made them think a little bit."

"I love to drink wine. Why? Because it makes me feel fancy. I know nothing about wine. I don't even know the difference between a Beaujolais and a chardonnay. I just know that I like my wine like I lik…"