George Carlin — "He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or…"
He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly.
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More from George Carlin
"Feminists say that men are a bunch of pigs. Well, I don't know about that, but I do know that pigs are pretty smart animals. So, maybe that's a compliment?"
"The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it."
"I don't believe in luck. I believe in preparation. I believe in seizing opportunities. I believe in making your own luck."
"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."
"Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be."