George Carlin — "I'm not a fan of anything that requires me to get out of bed before noon."
I'm not a fan of anything that requires me to get out of bed before noon.
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More from George Carlin
"I'm not a preacher. I'm just a guy who likes to tell people what to do."
"I don't believe in destiny. I believe in hard work. I believe in perseverance. I believe in never giving up."
"I'm not a serial killer. I just enjoy watching people suffer."
"People who are in favor of the death penalty, I don't know why they're so upset about people getting out of jail. It's like, let's kill 'em all! Get 'em out of here! Then we'll have more room for the …"
"The planet is fine. The people are fucked."