George Carlin — "I'm not a pessimist. I'm a realist. I just happen to believe that reality is a d…"
I'm not a pessimist. I'm a realist. I just happen to believe that reality is a dark, depressing, and ultimately meaningless place.
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More from George Carlin
"I'm not a guru. I'm just a guy who has a lot of opinions."
"I don’t like to think of laws as rules you have to follow, but more as suggestions."
"I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."
"I'm not a cynical person. I'm just a person who's seen a lot of shit."
"I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it."
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