You know, men are from Mars, women are from Venus. I'm from an entirely different solar system where we just communicate by throwing cheese at each other.
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"For that first week you lie to yourself, and tell yourself you can stop, and then your body kicks back and says, no, stop later. And then it took about three years, and finally you do stop."
"Aging is not lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength."
"If women ran the world, there would be no wars, just a bunch of angry countries not talking to each other."
"I get no respect. I went to a costume party dressed as a ship's captain and someone asked if I was the love child of Captain Kangaroo and Mr. Rogers."
"Why do they call it 'rush hour' when nothing moves?"
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