You know, men are from Mars, women are from Venus. I'm from an entirely different solar system where we just communicate by throwing cheese at each other.
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"If you're that depressed, reach out to someone. And remember, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."
"I'm a big fan of being honest. I think it's the best policy."
"I drink too much. Way too much. I gave a urine sample and there was an olive in it."
"I think the greatest thing in life is to be able to make people laugh."
"I get no respect. I went to a costume party dressed as a ship's captain and someone asked if I was the love child of Captain Kangaroo and Mr. Rogers."
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