Humorous Sayings

462 sayings found from 462 authors

After a sex experience, you are either a man or a woman. Not both.

— William S. Burroughs 1959
General

No, I don't use drugs. I am drugs.

— Hunter S. Thompson 1977
Self-Deprecating

You can't fight for your life and win, and then expect to go back to normal.

— Kurt Vonnegut 1969
Life & Aging

I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.

— Ray Bradbury N/A
Self-Deprecating

The greatest gift you can ever give another person is your own happiness.

— Philip K. Dick 1981
Food & Drink

Science fiction is not predictive; it is descriptive.

— Ursula K. Le Guin 1979
General

Nolite te bastardes carborundorum. Don't let the bastards grind you down.

— Margaret Atwood 1985
General

The greatest danger to freedom is the absence of a joke.

— Salman Rushdie 2015
Food & Drink

I'm not a machine. I'm a human being. I have feelings. I have a soul. And I don't like being told what to do.

— Haruki Murakami 1987
Self-Deprecating

All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost.

— J.R.R. Tolkien 1954
Life & Aging

When I was a child I was too old for my age and now I am an old man I am too young for my age.

— C.S. Lewis 1959
Self-Deprecating

A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.

— Roald Dahl 1972
General

I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.

— Dr. Seuss (Theodor Geisel) 1980s
Life & Aging

An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

— Agatha Christie Unknown
Relationships

It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important.

— Arthur Conan Doyle 1891
General

I am not a man, I am a river.

— Alexandre Dumas Mid-19th century
Self-Deprecating

Fame, the evil, than which no other evil is swifter.

— Virgil c. 19 BCE
General

If you wish to be loved, love.

— Ovid c. 2 CE
Relationships

I was not a Negro. I was a Black man. And my country is not a country. It is a state of mind.

— James Baldwin 1970s
Self-Deprecating

Dat's what makes a man and a woman. You can't have one without the other.

— Zora Neale Hurston 1937
General
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