"I have no faith in anything, except myself. And even that wavers."

"I'm not a fan of political correctness. I think it's a way of shutting people up."

"I'm a little freaked out by the number of people who don't seem to notice the difference between 'you're' and 'your.' It's like, there's a huge difference, people!"

"Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit."

"When it comes to bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion..."