"I do not like to be a member of any club that would have me as a member."

"My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately everybody drinks water.)"

"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old."

"There is no humor in heaven."

"Adam was the only man who, when he said a good thing, knew that nobody had said it before him."