Siddhartha Gautama (Buddha) — "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it a…"
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
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More from Siddhartha Gautama (Buddha)
"A mind unruffled by the vagaries of fortune, from sorrow freed, from defilements cleansed, from fear liberated — this is the greatest blessing."
"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."
"To conquer oneself is a greater task than conquering others."
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"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger."
Details
Attributed, often cited in various Buddhist texts and teachings.
Date: c. 5th century BCE
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Understanding this quote
What it means
Clinging to anger hurts you more than the person you're angry at. When you hold onto resentment, you're the one carrying the pain, stewing in bitterness, and suffering the physical and emotional damage. The other person may not even know or care. Anger is self-inflicted harm disguised as a weapon against someone else. Letting go isn't about excusing them; it's about releasing yourself from the ongoing burn.
Relevance to Siddhartha Gautama (Buddha)
The Buddha built his entire teaching around ending suffering, and he identified the three poisons—greed, hatred, and delusion—as its root causes. After leaving his royal life to seek liberation, he concluded that inner turmoil, not external circumstances, imprisons people. This saying reflects his core insight that hatred harms the hater first. His path of mindfulness, compassion, and non-attachment was designed precisely to dissolve such self-consuming emotions.
The era
In 5th-century BCE northern India, caste rivalries, tribal feuds, and honor-based retaliation were normalized responses to insult or injury. Vedic rituals emphasized outward purity, but the Buddha's era saw a wave of shramana thinkers questioning whether external action could address inner suffering. Against a backdrop of constant social conflict and warrior ethics that prized vengeance, teaching that anger damages its holder more than its target was a radical reframing of strength and harm.
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