George Carlin — "I don't believe in destiny. I believe in hard work. I believe in perseverance. I…"

"I don’t understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I’m frightened of the old ones."

"Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be."

"Don't just teach your children to read. Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything."

"I like it when a building burns down. I like to see the fire. I like to see the smoke. I like to see the destruction. I like to see the chaos."

"Here's a thought for you: What if all the people who believe in heaven and hell are both wrong? What if there's just... nothing? Imagine the look on their faces!"