Mark Twain — "I like a good story, but I don't believe it."

"I have been a great many things in my life, but I have never been a hypocrite."

"The test of any good fiction is that you should care something for the characters; the good to succeed, the bad to fail. The trouble with most fiction is that you want them all to land in hell togethe…"

"I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough."

"If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be—a Christian."

"I am an early riser; I get up at 5 o'clock in the morning. And I work until 8 o'clock. And then I take my breakfast. And then I work until noon. And then I take my lunch. And then I work until 5 o'clo…"