I'm a modern man. I'm a modern man. A man for the millennium. Digital and smoke-free. A diversified multi-cultural post-modern man. I'm a man for all seasons, and I'm a man for all reasons. And I'm a man of constant sorrow, and I'm a man of constant sorrow, and I'm a man of constant sorrow. And I'm a man of constant sorrow, and I'm a man of constant sorrow, and I'm a man of constant sorrow.
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"Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid."
"I don't have any beliefs or allegiances. I don't believe in this country, I don't believe in religion, I don't believe in all these man-made institutional ideas."
"I'm not a conspiracy theorist. I'm a conspiracy realist. I believe that there are people who are conspiring to do things, and I believe that those things are usually bad."
"I'm not a pessimist. I'm a realist. I just happen to believe that reality is a dark, depressing, and ultimately meaningless place."
"People who are in favor of the death penalty, I don't know why they're so upset about people getting out of jail. It's like, let's kill 'em all! Get 'em out of here! Then we'll have more room for the …"
American stand-up comedian whose 'Seven Words You Can't Say on Television' (1972) reached the Supreme Court and reshaped US obscenity law. Closely associated with Richard Pryor (countercultural-comedy peer) and Lenny Bruce (predecessor in obscenity-law fights). For an intellectual contrast, see Tipper Gore, co-founder of the Parents Music Resource Center — the PMRC's 1985 Senate hearings on 'explicit' content labeling are exactly the cultural-establishment force Carlin's free-speech comedy was organized against.
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