George Carlin — "I'm not a guru. I'm a guy who's trying to figure things out, just like you."
I'm not a guru. I'm a guy who's trying to figure things out, just like you.
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More from George Carlin
"I'm not a role model. I'm just a guy who tries to make people laugh."
"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all."
"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job …"
"I'm not saying I'm right. I'm just saying you're wrong."
"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."