George Carlin — "I'm not a terrorist. I just want to blow things up."

"I don't like ass kissers, flag wavers, or team players. I like people who buck the system. Individualists."

"I'm not a legend. I'm just a guy who's been around for a long time."

"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose."

"If you're born in this country, you're born into a system that's designed to keep you down. And they don't even hide it anymore. They're proud of it!"

"I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."