The very first time I got arrested, I was 20. I was with Jack Burns, a comedy partner of mine. We were arrested in a nightclub in Fort Worth, TX. We were doing a routine called 'The Indian Story' which was about the Indians getting screwed. The cops didn't like it. They said, 'You're doing communist material.'
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"If you stand for nothing, you'll fall for anything."
"I don’t have pet peeves; I have major psychotic fucking hatreds."
"I'm not a role model. I'm a warning."
"I'm not a fan of organized religion. I think it's a bunch of people who are afraid of the dark, and they're all holding hands and telling each other stories to make themselves feel better."
"I'm a modern man. I'm a modern man. A man for the millennium. Digital and smoke-free. A diversified multi-cultural post-modern man. I'm a man for all seasons, and I'm a man for all reasons. And I'm a …"
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