Humorous Sayings

People would often think I'm a faker, but I'm usually honest, in a certain way- in such a way that often nobody believes me!

Yeah, I took the door.

I got a dollar for my patent! I give it to everybody. Result: everybody who has one of these patent because it was easy a lot of people had been sending things in lots of patents. Everybody come down they want their dollar. He starts shelling them ou…

I just did a crazy guy. You are a crazy guy. You made a deal.

I guess I'm just mischievous. I just love to do that to people. Well especially when they're so gleefully happy that it's been going to cost 13 signatures haha.

That's funny.

Penicillin cures, but wine makes people happy.

A good gulp of hot whisky at bedtime—it's not very scientific, but it helps.

If penicillin can cure those that are ill, Spanish sherry can bring the dead back to life.

I play with microbes. There are, of course, many rules to this play...but when you have acquired knowledge and experience it is very pleasant to break the rules and to be able to find something nobody has thought of.

I found penicillin and have given it free for the benefit of humanity. Why should it become a profit-making monopoly of manufacturers in another country?

This new form of communication could have some utility.

I am not personally a socialist; I have small faith in any political propaganda; but I do believe that the progress of invention will create a state which will realize most of the present dreams of the socialists.

Long experience has taught me not always to believe in the limitations indicated by purely theoretical considerations. These, as we well know, are based on insufficient knowledge of all the relevant factors.

In the new era, thought itself will be transmitted by radio.

Have I done the world good, or have I added a menace?

Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.

Any man whose errors take ten years to correct is quite a man.

There are children playing in the street who could solve some of my top problems in physics, because they have modes of sensory perception that I lost long ago.

It is perfectly obvious that the whole world is going to hell. The only possible chance that it might not is that we do not attempt to prevent it from doing so.