Humorous Sayings
15,016 sayings found
A great talker may be no fool, but he is one that relies on him.
There are in life real evils enough, and it is folly to afflict ourselves with imaginary ones; it is time enough when the real ones arrive.
We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
What's a sundial in the shade?
It is universally well known, That in digesting our common Food, there is created or produced in the Bowels of human Creatures, a great Quantity of Wind. That the permitting this Air to escape and mix with the Atmosphere, is usually offensive to the …
Were it not for the odiously offensive Smell accompanying such Escapes, polite People would probably be under no more Restraint in discharging such Wind in Company, than they are in spitting, or in blowing their Noses.
Discover some Drug wholesome & not disagreeable, to be mix'd with our common Food, or Sauces, that shall render the natural Discharges of Wind from our Bodies, not only inoffensive, but agreable as Perfumes.
scarcely worth a FART-HING
I shall rise to apologize for not getting up.
The industrious man needs no food, for there shall be nourishment enough in the grave.
He who endeavors to drink salt needs fear no thirst.
The working man is fit and fed, and stabs the sluggard in his bed.
Preparation is the burden of fools.
To cross the sea takes naught but a pair of legs and the will to swim.
The nude man catcheth the hen while the clothed man shivers.
Shrewdness can turn one penny into two, but wisdom can turn a horse into a boy.
Save a penny every year and you shall die a millionaire.
For every pound of sand you eat, another shilling's yours to keep.
A heavy ship cannot sink.