Food & Drink Sayings

My father used to beat me with a hose. And he'd say, 'This is for your own good!' I said, 'No, it's not! It's for your pleasure!'

The only thing that's certain is death and taxes. And me, being funny.

The only thing that's certain is death and taxes. And me, being funny.

The internet is the greatest tool for human liberation ever invented.

I'm not going to let anyone define my future. I'm going to create my own.

The evils of a weak government are great and numerous.

The people of this city are very strange. They eat rice with their hands, and they do not use spoons or forks like us.

I'm like a fine wine. I get better with age.

We do hereby command the citizens of San Francisco to establish a meteorological station, under our Imperial patronage, for the prediction of weather.

I must be the greatest poet of all time.

The greatest pleasure of all is to give pain.

The greatest pleasure is to be misunderstood.

I'm not an alcoholic. I'm a professional drinker.

I'm not an alcoholic. I'm a professional drinker.

I'm not a vegetarian. I eat meat. It's natural.

I'm not afraid of death. I've lived a full life.

I'm not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

We are the true creators, the magicians, the dreamers of dreams.

I'm a great believer in serendipity and things happening for a reason.

The greatest gift you can give is your honest self.