Self-Deprecating Sayings

If you don't believe it or don't get it, I don't have the time to try to convince you, sorry.

I sometimes lie awake at night and wonder why I am still so popular and, to be honest, I don't know.

O Lord, I have not spoken to the people since I was a baby.

I transmit, but don't innovate. I am faithful to and love the ancients.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

On my 70th birthday I was going to get a tramp stamp.

By the grace of God, I am what I am. And what I am is really craving some pakoras right now.

If I am to be damned for going to hell with my friends, I will go to hell with my friends.

If I won't be myself, who will?

I have a wife, three children, three dogs, seven cats. I'm not a Franz Kafka, sitting alone and suffering.

I have no further use for America. I wouldn't go back there if Jesus Christ was President.

The nicest thing for me is sleep, then at least I can dream.

I am not afraid of giving too much trouble to God. He is able to bear it.

Sometimes I think I am a little bit lazy.

I don't take my life seriously, but I do take what I do – in my life – seriously.

Would people applaud me if I was a good plumber?

I am a disaster, but I am a disaster that asks for help.

If I am anything, which I highly doubt, it is due to hard work.

I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.

If I have seen further than others, it is by standing upon the shoulders of giants.