Humorous Sayings

For the wisdom of this age is foolishness with God. As it is written, 'He catches the wise in their craftiness.'

Where is the wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the disputer of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of this world?

If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness.

I repeat, let no one think me foolish. But even if you do, accept me as a fool, so that I too may boast a little.

What I am saying with this boastful confidence, I say not as the Lord would, but as a fool.

For I think that God has exhibited us apostles as last of all, like men sentenced to death, because we have become a spectacle to the world, to angels, and to men.

Already you have all you want! Already you have become rich! Without us you have become kings! And would that you did reign, so that we might share the kingship with you!

For who sees anything different in you? What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?

So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth.

If anyone is preaching to you a gospel contrary to the one you received, let him be accursed.

But far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.

I'm like a ripe stool and the world's like a gigantic anus, and we're about to let go of each other.

I resist the devil, and often it is with a fart that I chase him away. When he tempts me with silly sins I say, 'Devil, yesterday I broke wind too. Have you written it down on your list?'

Tomorrow I have to lecture on the drunkenness of Noah [Gen. 9:20-27], so I should drink enough this evening to be able to talk about that wickedness as one who knows by experience.

I am drinking beer from Namburg which tastes to me almost like the beer from Mansfeld which you praised to me. It agrees with me well and gives me about three bowel movements in three hours in the morning.

A happy fart never comes from a miserable ass.

Whoever smells it first, out of him it crept.

Devil, if you want to eat me, start from behind.

If God has no sense of humor, I don't want to go to Heaven.

One should praise women, whether it be true or false.